Keeping Everything In

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Hey guys!
I would like to post an emotional fucking post. Yeah, sorry for sounding so rude.
Okay, I would like to start off with insecurities. Insecurities are the things which all people feel in this world. Nobody likes feeling that, SERIOUSLY. I'm feeling like this now because I don't want my good friends to leave me. Well...I'm being a fucking paranoid. Why am I a paranoid? Because I have this thing being ditched.
Now, I finally knew the reason why. It all started out with me. I have a bad habit of thinking too much. I had took it far and I regretted it.

1. I can't take sarcasm when I'm serious
2. People tend to leave me alone because of me. I made a big fucking mistake and screwed my life all over.

Now, I have this very close friend of mine. I knew her since 9 but I got close with her just this year at August. I made a small thing into a big thing. And yeah, I screwed up and told her how I feel about her. It all began when I asked her 'am I important to you'. But she said 'why are you asking this question?'. I hid my worries from her and said 'just ignore it :)' And I kept on thinking negative stuff and made a drama...well, it's not really a drama but I'm kinda walking away from her. It's easy walking away...FUCK THIS SHIT. She's really a good friend but I don't know there are a lot of questions in my head. I don't know seriously. I hope I can just stop this habit of mine...but I over-think because I care. I FUCKING CARE TOO MUCH, LITERALLY. It's my last year in school and I made a big mess out of myself. I'm a really screwed up person. God, help me. I don't know how long am I gonna continue this but...I'll just pray that everything will be alright in the end. I wanna just tell her how I really feel and move on. I'm somehow tired and starting from now, I'll keep everything in my heart. I don't want any people worrying bout me anymore. I'll just solve it with god. May god be with me through every single troubles and how to solve it. 


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