Keeping Everything In

-
Hey guys!
I would like to post an emotional fucking post. Yeah, sorry for sounding so rude.
Okay, I would like to start off with insecurities. Insecurities are the things which all people feel in this world. Nobody likes feeling that, SERIOUSLY. I'm feeling like this now because I don't want my good friends to leave me. Well...I'm being a fucking paranoid. Why am I a paranoid? Because I have this thing being ditched.
Now, I finally knew the reason why. It all started out with me. I have a bad habit of thinking too much. I had took it far and I regretted it.

1. I can't take sarcasm when I'm serious
2. People tend to leave me alone because of me. I made a big fucking mistake and screwed my life all over.

Now, I have this very close friend of mine. I knew her since 9 but I got close with her just this year at August. I made a small thing into a big thing. And yeah, I screwed up and told her how I feel about her. It all began when I asked her 'am I important to you'. But she said 'why are you asking this question?'. I hid my worries from her and said 'just ignore it :)' And I kept on thinking negative stuff and made a drama...well, it's not really a drama but I'm kinda walking away from her. It's easy walking away...FUCK THIS SHIT. She's really a good friend but I don't know there are a lot of questions in my head. I don't know seriously. I hope I can just stop this habit of mine...but I over-think because I care. I FUCKING CARE TOO MUCH, LITERALLY. It's my last year in school and I made a big mess out of myself. I'm a really screwed up person. God, help me. I don't know how long am I gonna continue this but...I'll just pray that everything will be alright in the end. I wanna just tell her how I really feel and move on. I'm somehow tired and starting from now, I'll keep everything in my heart. I don't want any people worrying bout me anymore. I'll just solve it with god. May god be with me through every single troubles and how to solve it. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dried Contact Lenses

-
Image
I wanna post about how my contact lens get dried up. :( Well, it was just yesterday that I found out that it was dried and I was sooo sad that I cried. Cause I thought of my mother who worked so hard for the money and she paid this for me. Lucky, I didn't threw it away and kept it instead. I saved it today by putting contact solution I borrowed from my friend. It slowly goes into shape and yeah baby, it saved my contact lenses! I was so happy :3 Here's a picture of it Cool ehh? XD
Read more

Long Hiatus

-
Image
I've visited my blog and realised that I missed out on a year (or more) because I have other social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat to update on but my Snapchat is basically dead because I'm cheating on it with Insta. But not because of social media that kept me company but rather my life as a degree student just got hectic and I didn't manage my time to write in my blog too. Every time I come across something interesting, I always took pictures and say "I must update my blog with this content" but I never did in the end because I always forgot and kept myself busy with assignments most of the time. Mostly is because posting and updating and blogs is not the main trend anymore but since I've written so many posts about my life here, I couldn't just ditch it. I don't have the heart to do it. I was about to switch to Wordpress because I heard that the layouts there are awesome when I checked up on Blogger to find ou...
Read more

1 year of Adulting

-
Adulting is quite a hard process. I can't believe that I went through this for a year now. Paying bills for yourself. Managing finances by yourself. Paying for your own things. Manage your temper and temperament while at work. Make sure you are on your best at your job. Facing negative and toxic people in the office. Friends are mostly busy with work and you get to hang with them on nights when they're free or on weekends. Missing school life. I can't believe I managed to get through all these hurdles in my life, I also wanna thank on how I deal with drama during school days (high school, college and uni days) because it made me kinda prepared on how to deal with negative and toxic people around me. It was hard managing my finances as I was working in Mont Kiara back then where food there cost a lot. Each meal I ate was on a average of RM20 and I hardly saved anything because lets face it, Mont Kiara is an expensive place where all the foreigners such as the J...
Read more