The Story of Me

I had wrote this story on my planner which my school gave.

Well, I wrote it last year and I would like everybody to read it.

There it goes,

I've been hatred, bullied, used and I'm always the person who gets advantages for other people. People always get advantage of me cause my heart and cause I'm so called ''kind hearted'' or you could say ''soft hearted''. I dont know why am I like this. I'm soft hearted yet small hearted. I can get angry sometimes by a small little problem. I'm always like this. Always. ( but I had changed this bloody attitude )

When it comes to problems like these, I would always find my trusted friends but I dont think I can trust anyone in this school. ( my current school now but since I had friends who I can trust, its okay already ) I dont wanna trust anyone in this school for there are many back-stabbers, gossipers. My childhood friends like...(sorry, cant say the names but I'll use nicknames to represent them) and many other people has left the school and my side. ( This sentence is censored )

I made new friends when I got older (like when I'm 11). Like Yellow, Sweet, Heather, Bony and many more. ( All those names are nicknames! ) Joanne ( not a nickname ) was my 1st Korean friend. She was nice but she'll get angry with little things sometimes. But she left me. She went to Penang and continued her studies, she went there cause her father is working there. We did contacted each other by sms-ing and facebook-ing. She didnt reply me sometimes but I'm okay with that.

Years passed by and I reached form 1. I thought it would be the best year in my life but I was wrong. I thought KL would be my best friend but I was wrong. We fought and he joined my gang cause of D but not me. (hurtful!) But I did something wrong too. I said something so wrong to him when he almost wanted to say sorry to me. Well, after KL, it was W and YC.

W had some misunderstanding and he hated me. For YC, he just feel like hating me. I dont know whats wrong with me. To be hatred by other people was too painful for this is the first time I had it. Nobody understands my pain, nobody ever did except J. He would solve everything out for me but I was too sad to be true. I cried in the school lobby. I didnt even care whether it was private or public, I cried. D was there soothing me. A lot of people asked me why. I didn't answer them for they just wanted to be busybodies or care bout me. I did fight with D bfore but we're okay now. She was and used to be my best friend.

By the time when I was in form 2, things started to change a lot. I was a lot happier. The jokes that B and D made were funny except that they were insulting me, sometimes. The way that D insulted me was funny but the way B insulted me, make me was harsh. I almost cried but there's nothing now. I love those times but I like the ''gathering''. The ''gathering'' includes J, A, Y, Sweet, Bony, S and many other people but some people were not there cause they dont really socialize with us. We were backstabbing Heather for I was sad and angry about her( I really regret it cuz she's my best friend now). J said some points. S said some too. Everybody said out points. I was glad. My anger were no more. Everything went back to normal but in my amusement, I was in Heather's gang. She became my best friend now. The backstabbing was before being best friends with her. Oh well, I love the times in form 2R!

L, (I was giving a nickname too) she was also my best friend along with Amy and Jahan. They were just my best friends in class but L disappointed me cause she talks behind my back and I'm very sad that she did this. But, I love them and 2R very much.

A year passed and I'm in form 3E. Well, the people that I have never been in the same class like people who I dont really socialize were here and I tried to adopt it. M and Heather were in the same class so I'm glad. But, the environment is kinda unusual cause I have been in the third class for so long and I'm used to that. Plus, the people there are very cheerful and noisy. I like the cheerful part but not the noisy part cause in the 3rd class, people there are kinda quiet. I'm in that class for 2 months now (that was before, last years February). And I started to know some people's attitude. Y & R are the straight forward people. N likes to talk back and scold R. LOL. F....hmmmm...she hates back-stabbers(everybody does!). I'm angry with her today but I dont know when am I gonna forgive her. p/s: I had forgave her and this story is last year. So, I wrote this stuff to express my feelings and...FORGIVE AND FORGET. :)

In 2010, I dont know why am I sensitive. Maybe my patience had went out of control? Whenever I said something serious, some people add something funny. I dont know why...I've been always treated like this since 10. I've never cared about insults until now. Maybe too much critics for me? I want to go back to where it was. I cant get used to it( but now, I already got used to it and its kinda fun ). I'm sorry. Sometimes, I'm a crybaby, I know. I can't get rid of the tears( now, I know how to hold my tears cause girls tears are precious! ). But I can..in someways. I'm angry with myself sometimes. I'm too weak. I wish I could die in a car crash, hang myself...I dont know. (sorry for being negative. I was emo that time. But I will not commit suicide cause thats stupid!) There are ways I could die but dying hurts. Sometimes, I'm being too kind. Too kind to make people bully me and use me. I dont know. Sometimes, I'm quite useless. Uselessto be true. I wish to be a lone ranger. A lone ranger dont have to get any friends babbling around you. And when you fight, you dont have to care whether he/she back-stabs you. A lone ranger gets to have peace by he/herself